Charlie is seeing a psychologist for individual sessions. He has only seen her twice, but the last time he came home from his appointment he was in tears.

I don't like to ask the details of his sessions, but I always ask generally how the appointment went, just a simple "How did your appointment go?". He was very subdued upon his arrival home so I asked how it went.

He broke down in tears and just lay on the bed with me, stroking my leg. He could barely talk for a few minutes, but when he was able to speak, he told me that he realised that everything I had said over the past few years about him treating me poorly was true.

He cried and continued to apologise, stating that he would never let me down again and that he should have put me higher in his list of priorities.

He nearly had me fooled. I was so excited because I thought he finally realised what it was that I have been begging for for the last 3 years.

But it appears I fell victim once again to his manipulative behaviour and false promises.

He suggested we go to Fiji for a holiday at the end of the month, which just so happens to be our wedding anniversary. He thought it would be great because last year due to our relationship problems, not even a card was exchanged or a simple "Happy Anniversary".

And I could not agree more. I thought it was a perfect opportunity for us to recommit and starting building what had been destroyed. I was so excited that he was going to do something that he has never done before, because he wanted to.

But I was a fool to believe him. I was stupid for even thinking that he would want to take time off from his all important job to spend some quality time with me and work on his marriage.

Instead of consulting with me he has gone and arranged a weekend away in Melbourne, not a holiday, just a weekend away. Not a holiday with time off from work. Not a relaxed holiday where we would be together, doing things together, enjoying each others company, away from the normal daily grind.

Nope, just a weekend away.

So maybe I am selfish. But it is the continued pattern of behaviour that causes me pain. Failing to discuss things with me, failing to commit to the marriage and placing his job ahead of our marriage, failing to commit any quality time to work on this marriage.

It's the constant false hopes and promises he gives me. He sets the standard of expectation by telling me one thing, and then delivers something completely different.

Why the hell am I so stupid and fucking naive to believe that he would ever fulfill his suggestions? Why do I set myself up to fall, because everytime he breaks his 'promises' and pulls the rug out from under me, I am the one that is left sprawled out on the floor, shattered once again.

I am the one that continues to believe his manipulative lies, and I am the one that is constantly left feeling empty and worthless when he fails to deliver. I am so fucking stupid.

Why does he give me false hope? Why do I see through his empty and shallow promises but still allow myself to fall prey to him? Why does he continue to do this? Why can't he see what he is doing?

When this marriage needs him to commit fully, and needs him to fulfill his 'promises', and needs him to place me higher up his priority list, he continues to hurt me