The lie that you live

I have become the subject of a post written by the woman who inspired my last post. What I find astounding is that my last post was extremely generic, a vent really, not directed toward any particular one person, apart from a couple of sentences relating to the other blogger I was referring to.

My post was not attacking, nor accusing. And yet, I have become the subject of a rather direct post. Despite the requests, I will not identify this blogger, unlike her good self who republished my comment and username, drawing attention as to who the commenter was, after I deleted my comment. To be honest, it does not phase me in the slightest, because this is an invite only blog, so no-one apart from those invited has access. But the searches for my username and blog have almost doubled according to my stats.

Here are some snippets from the post.

"and I certainly won't stand by and let anyone label the love of my life as a liar"

I can safely label this man as a liar. At no stage would this man have said to his wife "Hey honey, I am just slipping out to go and screw my mistress" , or "I need to go to XYZ for a business trip and I will be shagging my mistress while I am there" , would he?

"Not all of us have ended up loving a liar, as you obviously have."

Sorry to tell you.....but you obviously are too.

"And please don't deny it, you've accused him of being just that, time and time again on your blog."

Never have denied it and certainly would never deny it. However, with professional counseling my husband has come a long way in relation to realising how destructive lying can be. For the first time in a long time I can actually sit here and honestly say I believe my husband.

Can you believe your man when he tells you he won't sleep with anyone else whilst you are apart? He slept with you whilst married, what's stopping him from doing it to you, when you can't scratch his itch whilst you are 1000's of miles away?

"and a post on her own blog tearing apart my whole relationship for the entertainment of her followers"

My post was a generic rant about the fact that I will never be able to understand the way a third person in a marriage thinks. I have not torn your relationship apart for the entertainment of my followers.

"As for calling her sad and bitter, that is merely reflecting what she herself says"

Sad??? Definately.

But bitter??? Not on your life.

I have actually moved through many of the processes of grief and I can sit here and truly state that the mistress has made me and my marriage stronger. We still have a very long way to go, but at the end of it my marriage will be better than it ever was, and better than what a lot of married people could only ever hope for, something an illicit relationship can NEVER offer.

"Good lord, what on earth has she been exposed to, or surrounded by, to have such a warped outlook on life?"

Having a moral outlook on life could only be deemed as a warped outlook on life by someone that takes the path less travelled, the one that goes against the moral grain of the majority of society, the one that goes against the teachings of the bible itself.

"Oh, and please don't presume to know that I haven't suffered betrayal. I have."

This makes it even worse to know that you yourself have suffered the emotional trauma of infidelity, and then willingly inflict that upon someone else.

Do you not remember the effect that it had on you? Do you not remember the many sleepless nights? Do you not remember the many days where you could not drag yourself out of bed because you could not face the day? Do you not remember the many days where the tears would not stop flowing? Do you not remember the constant headaches because of the constant crying?

And you willingly and knowingly inflict this upon someone else? THAT disgusts me.

"I fully expected to lose readership after " (a post where she tells her readers she is a mistress).

If what you were doing was the right thing then why on earth would you expect to lose readers? The fact remains that you KNEW what you were doing was wrong, but you willingly chose to continue the illicit relationship.

"I definitely thought that reader would be the first to stop coming by. I have to wonder why she continues to read something that so upsets her. If my activities irk her so badly, why keep reading? Does she need some sort of scapegoat for her own deficiencies in her relationship?"

I continued to read your blog because I love the way you write. I love the way you describe things and the imagery that you create with your words.

You made your relationship sound so wonderful and I can even remember the comment I left prior to finding out that if you have a love like that to nuture it and never let it go.

I missed my daily dose of your blog and so I made the decision to continue to read after finding out the truth about your relationship, because I did NOT want to cast judgement.

I hoped that you would help me see and understand why people find themselves in these situations. I wanted to learn from you and gain a greater understanding. Perhaps, just perhaps, maybe you could give me a greater acceptance of women who fall in love with a married man.

But I can now thank you because you have taught me one of the greatest lessons in life, and given me a fabulous insight into the train of thought of a mistress.

Your comment "I read her blog because I actually find it in turn to be amusing, enlightening and naive" proves exactly what sort of person you are.

To find someone's emotional turmoil "amusing and enlightening" is abhorent to say the least.

Now I could remove your invitation with the click of a mouse, but I would hate to take away some of the joy in that lie that you live called your life.